Wherefore art thou, Roland?

 We have had an unwelcome visitor in the house for the last week or so. Roland the Rat makes his presence felt in the early morning by scratching at the back of the kitchen cupboards (which is where he is making himself at home). Our cats have shown absolutely no interest - back to kitten school, I say - and Daisy goes quite berserk, but that’s as far as it goes.

Advice is somewhat varied. Poison (takes weeks and we have pets), glue traps (tried and failed to make any difference), humane traps, which will prove possible to source here, and call in Pest Control. Many expats on my forum have advised against this, saying they are ineffective and expensive. So the next step is to contact our friend Savvas and see what he suggests. There may be a weird and wonderful way that Cypriots manage to keep their house pest free.

Christmas was a great success, mainly due to the superhuman efforts made by Ann. In the run-up to Christmas I was rather under the weather, and she stepped up and dispatched me to bed (eighteen hours asleep on Christmas Eve). Fortunately I feel rather better now. The beef en croûte was lovely, and the trifle a veritable triumph. Boxing Day was a smorgasbord of homemade soup (tomato and celery), and cheese and pickles and olives and ... Roses chocolates ... grapes. As my grandmother would have said “FTB ... full to the brim and fit to burst”.

It’s touch and go whether this blog reaches fifty thousand views before or just after New Year. It is gratifying that people visit and read my words of wisdom, rants, complaints and tips if you are moving to Cyprus.

A Tale of Two ...

 It is both interesting and a little confusing to see how my country and my adopted country are reacting to the increased infection rate of this wretched virus. Neither country is managing it well. The UK seems to be in true headless chicken mode, with today’s newspapers suggesting that the lunatic Christmas relaxation for five days may well be cancelled. There have been more changes of direction in government “policy” than you could ever believe. Lockdown, tiers, new tiers, circuit-break and now new movement to stricter tiers overnight. Heaven help people who try to follow the guidance - although, according to a number of online tabloids - so many people are just not bothering.

Here in Cyprus it has been too little, too late. Now, with strict guidelines, the number of infections is growing exponentially. We see people not wearing masks (and they are compulsory outdoors as well), definitely not keeping their distance and behaving as if this virus is a minor inconvenience. The problem here is that the virus is out of control. Cyprus went from about a thousand cases in May (and then the airports were reopened) to over fifteen thousand cases now. “So what” you might say. The problem is that this island has a small population and so cases per 100,000 of the population are proportionally higher.

Ann reminded me this morning we have been self-isolating for nine months now. We have remained sane and positive. Of course for much of this time we have had glorious weather, the swimming pool has been a godsend, and sitting overlooking the bay with a cold glass of something has made life more than bearable. Our local kiosk has been brilliant with Joanna or Marios delivering food and drink to our door with the minimum of fuss, and a smile on their faces. The cost of delivery? Free.

The western world is focussed on Christmas, and the fear of not having a family celebration is seemingly on a par with the apocalypse. I can understand the emotion after such a year, but are we talking about grown-ups? In any event life will go on, whether that is back to normal or the “new normal”. I hope all visitors to my blog stay safe and enjoy as good a Christmas as circumstances allow.

A close shave ...

 The ongoing saga of the Royal Mail refusing to send my new electric wet/dry razor to Cyprus because it is a prohibited item has irritated me no end. After spending a considerable amount of money on a new razor (because my old one died), I am now in no man’s land. After a few days my stubble is not “designer” - it just looks a mess. But, with Ann’s help, a temporary solution was found.

Polis has a number of barbers and so I asked on Facebook whether any of them offered a shaving service. It turned out that many of them did, and one barber was recommended over and over. My chum David emailed me and explained where this barber was situated, whether mask wearing  and cleanliness was good, and the quality of the shave.

Idris is a a Turkish Armenian who has set up a barber’s shop. So off I went this morning and was warmly greeted by Idris and his younger Cypriot assistant, who was to shave me. Ten minutes later I was as closely and cleanly shaved as I can remember, hairs on my nose were removed by threading (painlessly) and the spray of cologne was cooling. The cost was eye-watering - a whole €3,00. This was the closest shave I have had since Ann and I went to Goa in 2003. Until my razor eventually arrives from the UK I can see regular visits. What a success!

We have had a busy week so far. Yesterday we had to drive to Paphos to visit the District Court so that Ann could have an affidavit stamped to prove we were married. This was so we could exchange our UK driving licences for Cypriot ones. That requires another visit to the Department of Transport tomorrow in Paphos. If you plan on following in our footsteps don’t make the mistake of having all utility bills in the husband’s name (this is almost automatic here) and have one in the wife’s name. It makes life much easier. On Thursday we travel to Paphos yet again for Ann to see her consultant at the hospital. Roll on Friday.

That should be the final step in ensuring we are legal in Cyprus. Our MEU3 gives us permanent residence here but this can be changed for UK3 once Cyprus sorts that out. Unlike the MEU3, which required a mountain of paperwork, this change only requires the MEU3 form and a current passport. After that I really don’t want to see the inside of a government office again.

The wrong trousers ...

 I was just thinking of the lovely Wallace & Gromit film “The Wrong Trousers”. Why you might ask? Well yesterday 2nd December was the first time I have worn trousers (as opposed to shorts) since early April. And that is why I love living in Cyprus so much as the mild weather can be delightful for months and months on end. We don’t often leave the house after dark, when the temperature can drop after sunset, and so changing to go out has become a thing of the past.

The level of infections here has risen quite sharply in the last couple of months and continues to do so. A government that acted so precipitously in the spring has bowed to the apparent needs of the economy, and it is sad to see. Sooner or later they will have to increase the restrictions to stem the rate of increase. It seems quite daft to ease matters when a vaccine is on the horizon, which may change matters for us all.

Ann and I have discussed whether we would be prepared to be vaccinated, and it will be a very difficult decision. Both of us (age and underlying medical conditions) are in the vulnerable category, and we have to ask ourselves whether the possible (and unknown) side effects of this vaccine are preferable to catching a virus which could be fatal. On the run up to Christmas last year who would have thought 2020 would end up as it has.

It reminds me of a bank manager who used to come into our pub in Kent, who always advised you to take your pensions the second they became available as no one knew when “the number 54 was coming round the corner”.

On a more cheery note, we are getting used to cosying up to the log burner after sunset, and eating earlier, and watching various box sets. We recently watched The Undoing, which we both thought was brilliant - despite being disappointed by the ending. My money was on Donald Sutherland. We are now looking at The Crown. We bailed out of Season 3, as neither of us could believe Olivia Coleman as the queen. But so far, Season 4 has been more watchable. And - on the back burner - we plan to watch Queen’s Gambit, especially as I am teaching Ann to play chess.

718 more visits to this blog will bring up 50,000 views - and I find that hard to believe sometimes. Thank you for taking the trouble to continue reading.