Sunday 16 December 2018

It’s been a time ...

I am well aware that I have not posted in a fair while but life has a habit of catching up with you. 2018 had been an awful year as far as we are concerned, and particularly as Ann is concerned. We have both injured ourselves, there has been a death in the family and it has been very difficult to deal with the aftermath.

Ann spent an unpleasant nine days in Paphos Hospital, where some of the staff do not seem to understand they have a duty of care towards their patients. Ann was placed in a ward with three other men, and the attitude of some of the night staff when it came to pain relief had to be seen to be believed. I managed to collar a young doctor on one of my daily visits and actually find out what Ann’s problems were, what the treatment was meant to be, and to find out why she was being denied pain relief. The right hand did not seem to even realise there was a left hand.

Eventually the hospital was prepared to discharge her, but we needed a nebuliser and an oxygen supply at home. I bought a nebuliser at the local pharmacy, and a local charity leant us an air concentrator for as long as we needed it. Enormously generous. That was weeks ago and I have seen a gradual improvement in her condition. I suspect the hole in her lung has eventually closed itself.

We return to the hospital in mid-January to see the specialist and to discuss further treatment. We are both optimistic and will not be sad to see the end of doctors and hospitals.

Our wood burning stove is on the horizon and it will be marvellous to be snug and warm in the winter. The damp problems of the last couple of years are, it would seem, cured and there is no sign of mould anywhere after the recent heavy rain. Hallelujah ...

Monday 29 October 2018

2018 ... our “annus horribilis”

2018 has not been a great year for us, and especially for Ann. It was compounded on Friday night when she slipped and fell in the bedroom. She fell heavily and hit her head on the corner of a cabinet. She was bleeding from the wound, and stunned. I telephoned for an ambulance and made her as comfortable as I could. Fortunately the bleeding stopped. The ambulance had difficulty in finding us (as we live in a field) but George, who runs Santa Barbara Resto, got into his car at midnight and guided the ambulance to us. What a great fellow.

I followed the ambulance to Polis Hospital and then to a nearby private clinic for X-rays. Then it was back to the hospital for stitches and cleaning up. The X-rays, thank goodness, showed no breaks. We arrived back home at 2.30 a.m. and I finally got Ann to bed. We were both awake a few hours later and I sorted out pain medication for her. Fortunately the pills knocked her for six and she slept for hours and hours.

Two days later she is still discovering new bruises and is in a lot of pain. But no permanent damage has been done, and she will recover ... but I suspect it will take a couple of weeks. Looking on the bright side, if she had landed a couple of inches to the left, she might well not have made it.

So we are both looking forward to a new year, and will trust it will be better than this “annus horribilis”. Davie will arrive on 5th December for a week and that will raise all our spirits, including those of local bar owners who will undoubtedly see an increase in turnover.

Tuesday 16 October 2018

STOP PRESS ... Macmillan Cancer Support

Ann and I, as readers of this blog will know, we’re delighted with the success of the Coffee Morning and Buffet Lunch we held in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support. A staggering €1000,00 was raised and  it was beyond our wildest expectations. A chance meeting with Tony, of Parker Barnes Estate Agents in Polis, led to a further donation. He asked me to pop into the office, which I did this morning. Tony then handed me a cheque for €200,00 to swell the coffers. What generosity!

Monday 15 October 2018

Are you that blogger?

Ann and I had just finished a delicious Sunday lunch at the Turtle Tavern in Argaka, when I was aware of a customer asking the landlady who I was. Having been identified, this lady told me she followed my blog in very complimentary terms. I, as you would expect, was gracious and modest. When she joined us a few minutes later, and called her two female friends across (this was to let them know the website address of the blog) I was quite taken aback.

I have met one or two other people who follow my blog, but - by and large - they have been friends or acquaintances. To meet a stranger was quite a surprise. And a pleasure. I suppose as there have been over thirty-five thousand visits to the blog it is not outside the bounds of possibilities. In any event, ladies, it was a pleasure to meet you.

Cyprus, for no doubt arcane constitutional reasons, does not have a British Ambassador but a British High Commissioner. He is a new arrival to the island, but what a mess he is making of his job. I know he is just a mouthpiece for the dreadfully incompetent government the UK is enduring (and they are undoubtedly doing a better job than the Opposition could ever do) but perhaps he ought to draw breath, think and then think again, before opening his mouth.

Only weeks ago he was advising expats that they only needed a MEU1 to ensure they would be able to continue to reside in Cyprus. We have that, and we were in the process of investigating whether we ought to apply for a MEU3. With his advice in mind, we thought it best to wait and see what happens in the coming months. The Cypriot government produced a twelve page document dealing with this, which appeared to confirm this ... but only in vague terms and only in the event of an orderly withdrawal from the EU.

And then, at the end of last week, he announced that he was recommending we applied for a MEU3. For goodness sake, find out what is happening and let your advice reflect the reality of the situation. The application process is straightforward but involves lots and lots of paper. Not a problem with the redoubtable Ann to organise things, but there are British expats all over the forums panicking and rushing to Immigration. How on earth did the British Empire and its administrators manage to cope only a few generations ago?

Wednesday 3 October 2018

Macmillan ... the final count

When Ann and I were discussing the Coffee Morning and Buffet Lunch before the event, we thought it would be marvellous if we raised €100 - €150. We concluded that any amount above that would be truly marvellous. As many of you will know, we ended the day with the grand total of €705,00.

But more was to follow. A generous (anonymous) benefactor handed in €100,00 to Gary, and everything was all set for an auction of the remaining raffle items during the Turtle’s Monday evening Quiz and Bingo. Ann and I planned to attend but neither of us felt well enough to go to what promised to be a long evening.

Gary telephoned me on Tuesday morning to give me the news. The Latchi Watersports voucher, which had already been won and returned, raised €110,00. This had already been sold for €100,00 and returned to be auctioned again. Mike Turner had offered aerial photographs of your property from his drone and this raised another €20,00. Various items of clothing and other items were laid out on a table for “any offers” and they were snapped up. The total crept up and up. The final gesture of goodwill came from one of the Turtle regulars who offered to bring the growing total up to €1000,00.

And so, on Tuesday morning, we found ourselves with the grand total of @1000,00. Unbelievable and incredible. The generosity of Gary and Ann Milner, the local businesses who gave raffle prizes, the customers and friends who brought raffle prizes of incredible variety, and the support of all the people who attended what turned out to be a fabulous day can take credit from this. 

Saturday 29 September 2018

Bit of a wobble ...

Well the day came and went ... and what a day. I’m referring to the Coffee Morning and Buffet Lunch we held at the Turtle Tavern in Argaka in aid of Macmillan Cancer Support. We arrived at about 9.30 and I was despatched to the local bakery to buy a couple of their delectable cakes. On my return I was stunned by the display of baking on the table and in the chiller cabinet.

I went home, leaving Ann to sort out the display of raffle prizes. On my return we waited and waited to see whether our event would get any support. We had talked that if we raised a €100,00 we would be pleased. People started to arrive and coffee and cakes were taken, and raffle tickets sold. It never seemed that busy but that was a blessing.

There was a lull between coffee and the buffet lunch. Ann was not feeling great (my goodness it was hot and airless in there) and I took her home for a rest to cool down. People came and went, including a couple who followed this blog and introduced themselves. A cheeky beer one afternoon may be called for.

Ann telephoned me and I went and picked her up. She had the less than glamorous task of folding raffle tickets and taking contributions and the like. I was able to float and chat to people, including some old friends who turned up. At one stage I went over to the table and was surprised and pleased by the amount of money in the jar. The time for the raffle came and presided over by the landlord, Gary, who is an old hand at the game. The first prize was a four-hour trip for six people donated by the generous guys at Latchi Water Sports. The guy who won it immediately handed it in to Gary so that it could be raffled at their Monday evening quiz and bingo night. What a generous thing to do.

Eventually the raffle ended and we waited to see whether we had hit our target. Boy ... how we underestimated that. We raised over €600,00 and that will be added to what Gary wil raise on a Monday night. In addition to the boat trip, there are brand-new shirts and aerial photographs of your home by the talented Mike with his drone. All other things being equal we should raise more than €700,00 for Macmillan Cancer Support.

None of this would have been possible without the support and generosity of Gary and Ann Milner of the Turtle Tavern in Argaka, the donation of raffle prizes by local businesses and friends, my wife Ann’s determination that this would succeed, the lovely cakes baked by Emillia ... and the outstanding participation of the local British community. Added to which Gary suggested this might be an annual event. Watch this space.

We’ll be back.

Monday 24 September 2018

This Friday ...

All involved with the Macmillan Cancer Support coffee morning and buffet lunch at the Turtle Tavern in Argaka have been working hard to promote this very worthwhile event. Ann put out a request for raffle prizes and we were both delighted by some of the very generous responses. But don’t be put off by that as there is always room for more.

It is almost impossible to gauge what sort of turnout there will be. All we can do is hope for the best. Ann and Gary at the Turtle Tavern have been very supportive and will “sell” the event hard at tonight’s quiz and bingo evening, where they apparently have over sixty people participating. If even half of those people attended on Friday that would make an enormous difference. Almost all of the people we have mentioned this to say that they hope to come.

It will be an emotional event for us and Ann said she would wear a badge saying “I am NOT a Bereavement Counsellor”. I hope the atmosphere will be more akin to a jolly wake, as there will no doubt be people there who have lost friends and family to cancer. It always astonishes me that something as important and supportive as Macmillan is funded by charitable donations. Like hospices, they should be supported by the government. I mean they obviously have money to burn with all the lunatic spending proposals they promote.

Wednesday 12 September 2018

Macmillan Nurses

Macmillan nurses have been incredibly supportive to cancer sufferers for many years, and no doubt will continue to do so in the future. They are holding an event on Friday 28th September to raise funds. We think this is a brilliant idea.

So we are hosting a Coffee Morning/Buffet Lunch at the Turtle Tavern in Argaka from 11.00 (with thanks to the generosity of Gary and Ann Milner). We have been promoting this event across social media and on expat forums, and obviously we hope that many people will attend.

If you would like to support this event, and are not able to attend, then (and this applies if you have a UK SIM card in your phone) you can text JAM FYE6 to 70550. This will automatically donate £5 to Macmillan Cancer Support.


Friday 31 August 2018

Tough times ...

Following a death in the family I have not been blogging for some little time. I hope to resume writing soon and (it appears) I have lots to comment on.

Friday 27 July 2018

Nothing is agreed until ...

“Nothing is agreed until everything is agreed” - the words of the Bulgarian PM ring out loud and clear. The one consistent fact in the great Brexit farce is that the EU have insisted that the four freedoms are as one, and that without (for example) freedom of movement there can be no negotiation on goods, capital and services. “All for one and one for all” springs to mind as the original analogy of Johnson, Davis and Fox as The Three Musketeers.

In expat land, there is considerable confusion and concern. Whether Project Fear (mark 2) is real or imaginary, many people are quite naturally concerned about their futures. Ann has always maintained that we should not panic and wait and see before taking any action. Sensible but when you watch otherwise “intelligent” Britons running round and chasing their tails, you do begin to wonder who is mad. Many, many years ago my mother came down to one of the rehearsals for the Sovereign’s Parade at Sandhurst (as she was due to be abroad when the actual ceremony took place). As she watched her eldest son marching she was aware that I was not in step with my brother officer cadets. On that occasion I could not hear the bass drum. In a classical moment my mother turned to the lady sitting next to her and proclaimed that the other officer cadets were out of step with me. That is just how I feel sometimes when advice and questions appear from all sides.

One of the most difficult aspects of all of this is that the British High Commissioner has just been replaced. The new commissioner, who is - in reality - just a mouthpiece for the government, is telling people that the MEU3 form (guaranteeing permanent residence) is not necessary. His predecessor was  insisting that all resident Britons (at least all of those who had been living in Cyprus for five or more years) should apply for permanent residence. Now I know that expats living in the EU are seen as a minor annoyance to the UK government but perhaps it should be remembered that they are UK citizens, with UK passports. Of course the manifesto promise of votes for all expats (currently you lose the right to vote after fifteen years) has been quietly forgotten. No doubt the relevant ministers were too busy filling in their expense forms.

If it wasn’t so serious, it would be hilarious.

Thursday 12 July 2018

Cost of living ...

There are often enquiries from people living in the UK about the relative cost of living in Cyprus, especially from those who are planning to follow in our footsteps. There is no doubt we enjoy a much higher standard of living here than we would have done if we had remained on the Sussex coast.

Housing is one of the key issues. The Cyprus property market is, and has been for years, a dark place where you must be on your guard against the mafia of dodgy property dealers and their tame lawyers. Many, many people have bought property and found, when trying to get their title deeds, that the developer has remortgaged their land to fund his next building project. Property prices have fallen dramatically since 2008, and we have met a considerable number of people who are trying to sell (at a loss) and then move into rental property.

It is calculated there are 50,000 empty properties in Cyprus and more are being built every year. On the other hand rental properties are plentiful and incredibly good value. We rent a two-bedroomed bungalow, with a large garden and a pool, for under £500 a month. Astonishing. If you are planning to buy, rent first for at least a year. Many people we know are on their second or third rental. They find noisy dogs, nosey neighbours or dreadful landlords. And then, on the second or third attempt, they hit the jackpot.

Everyday items are either very expensive or ridiculously cheap. Fresh fruit and vegetables are literally given away, alcohol and tobacco are at least half the price of those in the UK, eating out is very cheap and your money stretches a lot further. The equivalent of Council Tax here is a fraction of what we paid in the UK. Water is about €7,00 a month. Electricity is expensive although bottled gas is a quarter of the UK price. If you buy British goods, rather than their Cypriot equivalent, you will pay a substantial premium.

Roads are almost empty, although driving standards are haphazard. Petrol is cheaper, as is diesel, although second-hand cars cost a lot more than you would expect. But cars do not rust. Public transport is cheap (buses charge €1,50 a journey) and I wouldn’t get inside a Cypriot taxi if I had a choice. There are no trains.

All in all we find that our money goes so much further, and the quality of life is superb. Despite the criticisms of the public hospitals, our care has been excellent. Do factor into your costs that, if you are not in receipt of a State Pension, you must have private health insurance and that is not cheap.

Come on in ... the water is lovely.

Sunday 8 July 2018

The sun has got his hat on ...

Flaming June has given way to “Yellow Alert” July and it has been pretty hot for the last few days. The published temperature charts always give the temperature in the shade and you have to add on another 5°C to get an idea of what it is like when you are out and about. If you are thinking of following in our footsteps, the received wisdom is that July and August are the price you pay for living here. Even our Cypriot friends are wary of the heat.

Another factor to consider, when you are trying to see whether your budget will enable you to live here comfortably, is to understand that air conditioning is expensive to run and - unless you have a superhuman constitution - you will need it for three months of the year. It is absolutely essential at night to enable you to sleep comfortably, and on the hottest days you will find many people shut their blinds and heavy curtains, shut the doors and windows and switch on their air conditioning.

Living near the coast often means that there is a welcome breeze off the sea to cool things down. But if the breeze is off the land, it is anything but refreshing. Do not consider buying or renting any property that does not have full air conditioning. It is expensive to install as well. I suppose most people would not live in a house without central heating in the UK (if they had a choice) and the same should apply here in Cyprus. Keeping cool is something of an art form.

Ann needs a referral before making an appointment with the neurosurgeon in Nicosia, and so we are off to secure a tame doctor at Polis tomorrow. We are hoping against hope that the waiting list for her operation is not as long as was quoted, and - if there is any way to circumvent the queue - we shall take it. I suspect that the waiting time in the UK would be as long or even longer.

Our latest excuse to switch the air conditioning on during the day is that it will benefit our pets. Both cats and our dog are Cypriot but are finding the heat very demanding. Of course if we need to sit in the cool with them, then we shall just have to put up with that.

I suspect the government are rejoicing ... not about Brexit but the fact that England are diverting the attention of the public from the absolute shambles they are making of the negotiations with the EU. How Boris Johnson has not been put up against a wall and shot is, and will remain, a mystery. Talk about saboteurs and traitors. The Euroseptics in the Tory party will not be happy until the economy is in pieces. “Cut a deal with the EU to benefit the UK” ... absolutely no chance.

Friday 29 June 2018

Never mind the Terminator ...

We were shown a new tool for Daisy the dog some months ago, that removes the dead hair underneath her top coat and helps her both to keep cool and stop shedding hair everywhere. It is called the FURminator. What a priceless name. Eat your heart out Arnie ...

It is amazing how time passes but we have at last ordered one from Amazon. We saw one on display at a rather expensive vet’s surgery in Paphos the other day. It was priced at a cool €48,00 which is a tad expensive. Amazon sell the same thing at half the price.

We always try to shop locally on the premise that if we don’t use local shops then they will disappear. But double the price is not really on. Many expats here moan about the price of the kiosks (the little corner shops) but we have found that many items cost less than the big supermarkets, and so we support them. Polis has only one large supermarket (since Orphanides closed) and so, without competition, they charge what they feel the market will pay.

Ann’s knee is finally undressed, which means she can now shower. There are signs of great rejoicing from the other residents at Andronikis Gardens. In actual fact, not showering because of a dressing in this weather, is awful. Still the water should be hot. It is one of life’s great ironies that we get free hot water from our solar panels for nine or even ten months of the year, but in winter we have to use the immersion heater. Showers in the summer tend to be like warm, cool or even cold.

The announcement in the press that England had lost a football match in the World Cup has been covered in such depth that one could be forgiven for thinking the queen had died. But it has kept Brexit off the front pages for a day or two. So we should all be thankful for small mercies.

Monday 25 June 2018

Let’s hope ...

Let us hope that bad things happen in threes and that is as far as that goes. Whilst having a lovely time with Ann’s sister and her husband, Ann did her best to be the centre of attention. Firstly we all went out for lunch in Latchi, and Ann had one spoonful of her avocado shrimps and was very sick indeed. Obviously a dodgy shrimp. The following day we all went to Steni Market where Ann felt unwell (probably as a result of her previous day’s shenanigans). To cap it all on the very next day she had a fall in the garden (in the same place as I fell a couple of months ago) and was somewhat battered and bruised.

I’m happy to report that she is much better and she bore her injuries with stoicism. But, as I have told her, “Enough is enough” and I have threatened her with a stiffly-worded memorandum if she transgresses again.

We had a lovely evening out a couple of days ago, and were invited round to a bbq. The house was lovely, the company more than acceptable and the atmosphere was fun. But the food was bloody awful. T-bone and rump steaks, and ribs, were barbecued. They were tough and gristly, and we had to struggle through them with smiles on our faces. The highlight of the evening came after I felt that every insect in Polis had been invited to a party on my legs. I was suffering and our host and his other guests suggested “tiger balm”. It was produced and I was told to rub it where I had been bitten. It comes in a little jar about an inch tall and smells of Vick’s Vapour Rub (and can be rubbed into the chest as well).

Well, after five minutes, I was not impressed despite everyone telling me how marvellous the stuff was. And then, miraculously, the itching stopped and I was then very impressed indeed. Apparently it is on sale in Paphos and, when we visit this week, it will be high on our shopping list. It can, apparently, be used for pain relief as well ...

In any event, enough of this doom and gloom. The weather is set fair and that is always a great feeling. At the end of last week I used the UK government’s beta software to apply for my passport online. Ann took my photograph with my iPad and in a few minutes all was completed. The photograph was cropped to the correct dimensions in front of my eyes, and the whole things took about ten minutes and that was mainly because I had to unearth my old passport and then my bank card to pay. Very impressive and it may suggest that the UK may be about to enter the 21st Century.

The soccer World Cup has proved a distraction to the country, and a welcome one at that. Although we are not in the least bit interested in soccer it is fun to see the glee and excitement of people after all the months of doom and gloom caused by Brexit. I still cannot believe the sheer amateurism and lack of competence showed by politicians across the whole spectrum of government. Can they really be jockeying for position - and to hell with the people - at such a time? I fear so and I despair.

Sunday 10 June 2018

“Phew! What a scorcher!”

I loved the very predictable banner headlines in various UK tabloid newspapers when the temperature  was set to rise above 21°C. The same photographs from Brighton beach, and the same aspiring models clad in bikinis, adorned the front page.

It all seems such a long time ago as we are sitting out a heatwave here with temperature nudging 40°C. Thank heavens for the swimming pool and air conditioning. We try not to use the air conditioning during the early afternoon but, yesterday, both of us and our pets were struggling, and the air conditioning was switched on. It’s a strange thing that you try to be economical with electricity (and prices have risen substantially in 2018) but most modern houses have air conditioning for a purpose and that is to make the hottest days more comfortable. For those following in our footsteps at some stage in the future, air conditioning in living areas and bedrooms is an absolute must. You will live to regret it if you believe the estate agent who extols the virtue of open windows and fans.

We are both waiting for the arrival of Sue and Davy on Wednesday, who are coming for a week’s holiday. They are staying at a lovely hotel five minutes away from us (as they did last November) but they will undoubtedly find it warmer this June. Whether they opt for an all-action time or a lazy, slow motion time, will depend on how they feel once they arrive. We shall fit in with them.

Bad news this week when I heard from my best friend, Mike. His lovely wife, Wendy, went to see her  doctor with pain that he thought was probably appendicitis. Into hospital to find out she had developed bowel cancer. It was operated on and the tumour was removed. The prognosis is good as they caught the cancer early. Our hopes and prayers are with them both, and I trust she makes a full recovery soon.

It is a clichĆ© and a truism that we are advised to live each day as if it is our last. Nothing could be closer to the truth. 

Wednesday 23 May 2018

Poor Ann ...

We visited the orthopaedic surgeon today as Ann has been suffering with a painful back, after she tried to move one of our old sofas prior to the delivery of our new sofas a few weeks ago. The end result is she has fractured a vertebra in her back and will have to wear a back brace and, hopefully, the fracture will mend. As I told her today “Your sofa-moving days are over” and she has agreed.

But she has been remarkably cheerful and upbeat, and I hold her in great admiration. We have now sorted out a fabulous woman to come and clean the house, and iron our clothes, on a weekly basis. And we have also found a lovely young woman to come and do the heavy work in the garden, which we no longer want to do. What is amazing about both of these women is that they work so hard, and so cheerfully. Our next job is to sort out a “pool man” to regularly clean our swimming pool. As someone we know said, “I don’t want to clean the pool. I want to jump in and use it.”

Summer has arrived with a vengeance but we are benefitting from “Ann’s Breeze”, which drifts in from the bay and cools us off on those hot afternoons. Sheer perfection at times.

We are waiting for Ann’s sister and her husband to arrive for another visit in three weeks. Their last holiday last November was a great success. Ann and her sister needed time together and it was great to be told “Why don’t you two go down to the pub for a couple of hours?” Did any man ever need an invitation like that?

Life here is good, despite all the curved balls that come in our direction. For those thinking of following in our footsteps, do your research and jump right in. The water’s lovely.

Wednesday 2 May 2018

Up the creek without ...

So Amber Rudd has fallen on her sword and the newspapers are full of sound and fury (and most of it signifying nothing). Politicians seem to have had a collective I.Q. transplant or bypass in recent years and I yearn for a man or woman of intellect to come forward because they genuinely want to serve the public.

In my younger days, when I developed an interest in politics, intellectual giants bestrode the House of Commons - on both sides of the political divide. Some were intellectuals and some had a low cunning that enabled them to survive in the pressure cooker. Harold Wilson, a man I never admired or supported, was one of those who often managed to surprise us all with his machiavellian ways and kept his party under control and the country in thrall. I remember many others - men and women of honour and integrity - Sir Alec Douglas Home springs to mind - whom one could admire and honestly believe they were doing what was right for the country.

Politicians and journalists have slid down the slippery slope, and there appears nothing will slow their inevitable descent. I, if we lived in the UK, would not be able to read a newspaper and actually believe what was being written. The era of fake news and incredible bias in newspapers has left all who value honesty and truth to despair. Journalists copy and paste from various sources without seeming to be bothered to verify their veracity, and their professionalism withers on the vine.

To live in a democracy, and to value free speech, is a marvellous privilege and one not to be taken lightly. Living a couple of thousand miles away from the UK does not lessen the pain. Prime Ministers authorise the bombing of Syria without consulting Parliament on the grounds of security. What a load of bollocks! If you believe that the Americans and French and British did not give advance warning to the Syrians, and especially the Russians, to minimise the risk of World War Three starting, then you have been listening to the BBC for too long.

People fought and died to maintain the democratic freedoms that we enjoy, and which our political “masters” are rushing to obliterate at a frightening speed. I despair for the western world, and I despair for the country in which I was born. Quo vadis!

Thursday 12 April 2018

“Peace in our time ...”

And so it begins ... the madmen at the helms of the USA and Russia are girding their loins and are tweeting their way to a showdown in Syria and the surrounding areas. Egged on by the British and the French, and the Israelis, the temperature is rising and the prospect of war looms ever closer. May and her “war cabinet” are meeting to discuss the bombing of Syria as punishment for a gas attack that may or may not have taken place. Trump tweets away and the Russians respond in like vein. The British, in their well-known “poodle” mentality, blindly follow the aggression of the lunatic in the White House, Macron struts his stuff (whilst France is paralysed by strikes) and the Israelis stir the pot as hard as they can.

Perhaps most astonishingly of all, May does not intend to recall Parliament for a debate on the matter. Everyone remembers Cameron failing to push the House of Commons a few years ago into pursuing military action, and May does not intend to fall into that trap. The UK, unless I am much mistaken, is meant to be a Parliamentary Democracy. And yet Parliament is increasingly sidelined over the prospect of war, or Brexit. What the hell is going on?

The western “powers” do not seem to understand that their meddling in the affairs of the Middle East (and the Far East for that matter) has caused untold deaths and disaster. I can’t remember anyone appointing the USA, the UK, France or Israel, as responsible for policing the world. All, in the last hundred years, have engaged in warmongering at its worst. Whether it is to impose democracy on areas of the world which are divided along tribal or religious lines, or to get their hands on dwindling oil and gas reserves, the West’s interference is neither welcome nor wanted.

Thursday 29 March 2018

Somewhere to sit Part 2 ...

A very worthwhile trip to Konia to see Mark and Yola, who were selling a couple of sofas. They turned out to be in excellent condition and just beautifully comfortable. One was a sofa bed, which it is unlikely we shall ever use but not a bad thing to have in case of emergency. The cherry on top was the fact that Mark runs a "Man and a Van" service and happily agreed to deliver the sofas for a whole €10,00. 

The next morning we received a phone call to tell us he was on his way. We needed to take our old and very tired sofas onto the drive, and achieved the first one without any real bother. Then, out of nowhere, a mini-disaster struck. Ann's back clicked and she was in a lot of pain. We abandoned the sofa and, fortunately, we had some diclofenac in the house. Siting gingerly, Ann took a couple of these wonder pills and tried to relax.

I managed to get the second sofa onto the drive and we were set for Mark and his van. On schedule he arrived and, between the two of us, moved the new sofas inside. They look fabulous in their new home and Daisy, Honey and Jaz all came to inspect them. The seal of approval was given and they settled down to sleep on "their" sofas.

We offered the old sofas to the village mukhtar, Spiros, and he will send someone round to have a look. They are in a pretty sorry condition, but - as he told us a few years ago - some people in the village have nothing. So we wait to see whether the sofas go to a new home or to the dump.

Tuesday of this week saw something of a surprise. It is the day my teacher's pension arrives in our Cypriot bank. On checking the account we found more money than expected and that was because my first ever State Pension had been paid in on the same day. I had calculated that it would be today and so the early payment was both unexpected and welcome.

I have arranged to buy a new iPad as my eight-year old iPad 2 has been struggling with some of the modern apps I have installed. That will be fantastic, and I am so looking forward to picking it up. I shall "factory reset" the iPad 2 and Ann will be able to make use of that for lots of stuff. Gosh a two iPad family. Whatever next?

Tuesday 27 March 2018

Somewhere to sit?

Our elderly leather sofas have really passed the point of no return, and so we have to replace them. They have served us well but their time has come. We head off this afternoon to look at a couple of sofas, being sold online, at what seems to be a good price. But, of course, the only test is to sit on them and so a trip to Konia is on the cards.

The dust that has been plaguing Cyprus for quite a few days is still with us. It has been affecting large parts of the Mediterranean and the Middle East, and has turned areas quite orange in some countries. We are due some heavy rain on Thursday, which should clear the atmosphere. After that the weather is set fair, and we look forward to pottering around in shorts. The builders are still with us, but it cannot be long before they finish. After that, there will be a deal of cleaning and clearing up, and the decorators will have to call in for half a day or so.

Ann had the great news that her sister Sue, and her husband Davy, are returning to Cyprus in June, and staying in the same hotel five minutes down the road. We so enjoyed their last visit in November, and they must have done to return so quickly. Of course the weather will be much warmer then, and Davy will be able to bare his legs for the entire visit. I only hope Polis and Argaka are ready for this.

We haven't had the fire on for days now, which is great. Soon it will be time for the electric blanket to go back into the cupboard until November, and hopefully windows will be able to be opened at night. That is when Cyprus really comes alive. Already the sunny evenings are proving a draw, and a glass or two beside the pool is always a welcome idea. In fact I feel a barbecue coming on soon. Spring gets me like that.

Monday 19 March 2018

Is the end in sight?

Well here we are with the builders laying tiles (or ceramics as they call them). Is the end in sight? Certainly in the early days of this great work, when drilling and hammering were ever present, we certainly felt like ending it all. The walls are replastered and painted, and the tiles have been delivered - ready for the sprint down the finishing straight. Unfortunately, with temperatures rising by the day, and no rain on the horizon, it may be October or November before we see whether this has all worked.

As an insurance we are heading off to the hills to look at another property, which appears to be ideal on paper ... will the reality be as good? If it is, then we may be faced with a very difficult decision. Neither of us want to move, but neither of us is prepared to spend another winter with damp and mould on the walls. So, and another clichƩ, only time will tell. But readers of this blog will be the first to find out what our decision will be.

Whatever happens, we shall just be grateful to have the house to ourselves. Daisy, in trainee guard dog mode, has become very relaxed with the comings and goings. Honey, the senior pet, often retires to the roof to look down on the world with a great disdain. Jaz, her daughter, wanders around with a confused look on her face. She reminds me of Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey. Perhaps she was a dowager countess in an earlier life?

My cracked ribs are easier by the day, which makes life much simpler. I was able to start driving again at the end of last week, much to Ann's relief. It's been thirteen days since my fall, and the doctor thought it would be about twenty days for them to completely heal. So his forecast was pretty accurate. I stopped taking the various prescribed painkillers a few days ago, and followed Ann's advice to reduce the dosage over a few days.


Tuesday 13 March 2018

30,000 + Page Views

I never considered, when I started this blog about our life in Cyprus, that many people would stop by and read my musings. But they have and I must say I am pleasantly surprised. This blog is an outlet for my irritation with politics and politicians, and I hope an insight into what it means to go and live permanently in another country.

I still remember my finger hovering over the "Buy" button on the EasyJet website where we planned to buy two "one way" tickets to Cyprus. Only a few weeks later, with our apartment in Bexhill echoing after the removal men had finished and all our worldly goods were heading for the container to be shipped here, we sat and looked out over a cold, grey English Channel. Twenty-four hours later we were sitting in 28°C under the palm trees at Paphos Airport, completing the paperwork for our hire car. The adventure had begun.

And now, five and a half years later, we will soon be applying for "permanent residence" here (Form MEU3). Who would have thought it? We should have just been pottering about our daily lives if the huddled masses had not voted for Brexit. I still cannot quite believe it. Self-harm on an epic scale will be committed and the UK will be much the poorer for generations to come.

Will others be able to follow in our footsteps? Perhaps they will, but it will not be straightforward and it will be at the whim of those bloody politicians. We moved here simply, and it was our legal right to do so. Quo vadis?

Sunday 11 March 2018

Short trousers ... in March

Hard to believe that the weather is so perfect today that shorts are the order of the day. Even Ann removed a layer. A gentle breeze, warm sunshine and a blue sky - there are times I would be content with all of this, especially when the temperature in the shade is 35°C + in summer. But there again, the water in the pool needs to warm up somehow.

The pain I have been suffering as a result of my cracked ribs is a little more bearable today, and I am cutting down on the number of painkillers I am taking. We are off to the pub this afternoon to pick up our "Beware of the Dog" and "Shut the Gate" sign that Ann commissioned from Mike (the ever-so-talented barman at the Turtle Tavern), and I suppose it would be rude not to stay for a drink or two.

Apart from that, everything is on hold until I become more comfortably mobile. The doctor thought about twenty days, but I am hoping for a shorter time than that. The builders are still here and Daisy is relaxed enough not to bark a warning when they arrive. One of the guys has, without being asked, picked up garden rubbish we were collecting and disposed of it for us. He obviously felt sorry for the old boy hobbling around in pain. What a lovely gesture.


Friday 9 March 2018

Spare Ribs anyone?

I didn't realise that whatever you do physically it involves your ribs moving. With two cracked ribs, and the prescribed painkillers proving not particularly effective, almost anything I do can be a little painful. The thought of lurching through life for the next three weeks, until they heal, is not something that fills me with joy.

The builders are renewing their work on the plaster on the outside of the house, and it is almost continuous and very loud. After they finish, and the special paint is applied, followed by the magical chemical, then everything will need to be replastered, and then painted. At least the plastering and painting will be quiet. After that the inside paintwork, affected by the damp will need to be cleaned and then repainted with the anti-fungal paint. And then, and only then, will we have our home back.

Daisy, Honey and Jaz have been brilliant whilst all this has been hoping on - taking it in their stride (unlike the human occupants). They lie on sofas, roll their eyes and hibachi to sleep. It is a moment of immense pleasure when the builders drive off in the late afternoon.

But the cold weather has departed (only relatively cold if you are reading this in the UK), Spring is all around us and soon the clouds will disappear for six or seven months. No doubt I will be blogging about how hot we are. I note from the site stats that this blog is approaching 30,000 views. Amazing and I trust you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

Thursday 8 March 2018

Don't fall over here ...

Everywhere in Cyprus is so hard, be it marble floors in the house, patios and terraces, or the rock-hard earth. So don't fall over as I did on Tuesday night. I was walking Daisy round the garden when I lost my footing and fell. And boy - did I land heavily?

Ann made valiant efforts to help me up but in the end we had to call an ambulance. A lot of people criticise the health services here but the ambulance crew were brilliant. Hospital and an X-ray, a pain-killing injection, various tests - the bottom line is that if my ribs are bruised, cracked or broken, the treatment is the same. We return to the hospital today for more X-rays and hopefully some stronger pain relief.

The builders and Savvas had a major row by telephone last night and we wait to see whether they return to do what they were contracted to do. If they do, it will be a noisy few days. If they don't, no doubt a third company will be engaged. I must admit we are heartily fed up with the noise and the disruption, so we hope that it will be all worth it in the end.

So the sun is shining, the sky is blue and winter seems to have retreated. The dust that has been very noticeable over Cyprus for a few days, and which has made breathing difficult at times, is apparently due to clear today. That will be a welcome relief. Happy Days ...

Saturday 3 March 2018

I love angle grinders ...

Well, finally, the new Bulgarian builders started work this morning. We were promised they wouldn't start before 08.30 (which they didn't) but they did arrive to offload materials at 06.45. Daisy, our trainee guard dog, was on the alert and we never did get back to sleep. The sound of angle grinders is reverberating around the house, the animals are not happy but I suppose we are content that the work has finally started. It will apparently take a fortnight to complete, and then the decorators will have to return to sort out the interior AGAIN.

We hope and pray that this will resolve the damp and mould issue for good. When I think of the thousands of euros that must have been spent (why engage a structural engineer and not follow his advice?) trying to do the job more cheaply. By the time this has finished, it will have cost three times as much. We are glad it is not our money.

At the moment we are busy planning so that Ann can fly to the north of Scotland to visit her sister - hopefully sooner rather than later. Becoming bogged down in details, we thought it would be better to engage a travel agent. I contacted a well-known travel agent in Paphos (one which had been highly recommended by friends and acquaintances) and a very detailed email arrived with Ann's travel options. My initial thoughts were "How much?" and my subsequent thoughts were identical.

As she does not know how long she will stay, a return ticket is out of the question. And so, I investigated the options. A single ticket from Paphos to Gatwick can be had for as little as £46. Another single ticket from Gatwick to Inverness costs a little more. Ann can stay with a friend near Gatwick, and her single flight to Inverness takes off at a friendly early afternoon time. The return journey will cost a little more (it always seems more expensive to fly to Cyprus) but can be arranged at a time to suit Ann. The options suggested by the travel agent were nudging £700. Hmm!

Spring seems to have sprung here, and it is mild and quite sunny. The poor old UK has been through a nightmare week, and the floods when all the snow melts will make matters even worse. It all manages to be quite minor when you compare it to the government's handling of the negotiations to leave the EU. The opposition has shot itself in the foot by doing an abrupt u-turn on the customs union in what I believe is a naked power grab for office (and to hell with the country just so long as the door to No 10 Downing Street can be wedged open).

The British High Commissioner has been travelling around the island urging British expats to apply for permanent residence after five years here. In our sixth year this was already on our list of things to do, and as soon as my new passport arrives it will be off again to Immigration to sort that out. In any event we don't plan to live anywhere else. I cannot imagine snow and ice, and Brexit. Brr!

Sunday 25 February 2018

Never mind "Back to the Future" ...

Well the saga of our house, and the builder, continues. Work was done, but not finished, and the builder was sacked for being an ar****le (I can't spell the Greek version) and so Savvas came to continue with the work. I felt that he was not doing what the structural engineer had advised and - sure enough - in the areas where the new work had been done, the damp and the mould returned with a vengeance. All work stopped and then a phone call that Savvas was going to arrive with a new builder.

A Bulgarian builder (with a very expensive liveried van) arrived and there was a site inspection and a lengthy conference. The end result is that, apparently, this builder recommended doing what the structural engineer told us all six months ago. And so, he will remove all the work already done, come out three tiles all around the house, dig down (which was never done previously) so that the saturated ground underneath the tiles can dry. He will then remove the plaster and some brickwork from the house (a metre or more up the walls), and apply the magic formula which will insulate the ground and the walls. Ye Gods! It is apparently going to take a fortnight. After that the outside of the house will need to be repainted (as it was last year), and the interior will need to be made good and touched up by the decorators.

After that we have to hope for a prolonged wet spell to see whether this has cured the problem. If so, great celebrations. But how much money has been wasted on "cheap" options? Why employ a structural engineer and then disregard his opinion? No doubt Savvas lights his big cigars with €50 notes.

Watch this space. But not in the next few days. My 65th birthday is on Wednesday and I intend to celebrate in style so that both Ann and I have a great few days. My old friend Mikkis used to refer to himself as a "Pensioneer" (to rhyme with Musketeer) and that is what I shall be. Who said life was dull?

Wednesday 7 February 2018

"I see no skip ..."

Despite my blog yesterday, some materials arrived later on in the day and the builder turned up a few minutes ago with his pneumatic drill. And so - and no doubt the arrival of headaches later today - the next stage of the great work begins. Contrary to what the civil engineer said, the tiles are being removed and a magic chemical is to be sprayed, before a membrane is put in place. I can remember him saying that the sand underneath the tiled area would be saturated and would need to be allowed to dry for three or four days. This now appears to be not the case.

A lot of money had been spent in the last couple of years (and not our money I am glad to say) and the work seems to have been done in the wrong order. Surely solving the damp and mould problem (caused by the fact that "damp proof courses" do not appear to exist in Cyprus) should have been the first step. But no ... remove the mould and redecorate inside and out at a considerable expense. Another winter and more mould ... and so decorate the interior of the house with an anti-fungal paint. Six days later the first signs of mould reappear. And so ... a builder is called in but is not appearing to be following the advice of the civil engineer. So "quo vadis?" No doubt the affected areas will be rubbed down and treated again with the anti-fungal paint. And then ... wait to see if the mould reappears.

Some people appear to have more money than sense. But what do I know? You cannot seal the house from rising damp. You must eradicate it and then treat it.

Daisy was not amused at the sound of the pneumatic drill but seems to have settled down now. Mister Sprout is making his feelings felt from the laundry room. Ann and I will no doubt be reaching for the paracetamol if the drilling goes on all day. But the sun is shining, the sky is blue and already there are signs of Spring in the air.

Sunday 4 February 2018

"Hey, presto!" as Plato might have said.

Plato is reported to have said "As the builders say, the larger stones do not lie well without the lesser". Well he is probably right. And Craig Martin, in more recent days, commented "The first sign builders are on the way is when - hey, presto! - a skip appears outside your house".

Well we would give our eye teeth to see a skip appear outside of the house. A builder appeared, disappeared, and a week later there is no sign of the work starting. I know this is Cyprus, and I know the value of patience, but we have had structural engineers, architects, builders, decorators - experts of all kinds - to advise on the problem of continuing damp. And still the damp appears, and still we wait for it to be sorted. By the time the builder arrives, it will be Spring, the damp will disappear and then we shall only find out next winter whether the work has been successful.

In the depths of winter there is always one series of events that lifts the spirits - the Six Nations' Rugby Championship. Yesterday afternoon, tucked up in front of the fire, Ann and I watched the Welsh humiliate the Scots (who had promised so much last Autumn) and the Irish dispatch the cheating French with a drop goal which almost (but not quite) ranked with the great Jonny Wilkinson effort in the World Cup final in 2003. I hate to see cheating in rugby and the latest scandal about mythical Head Injury Assessments was instigated by the French last year. They got away with it, and almost got away with it yesterday. Roll on today's match when, I trust, England will put Italy to the sword. My forecast is 12 - 40. If I'm right, remember that you read it here first.

My 65th birthday approaches fast, and I have received confirmation of my State Pension. It would appear that "they" have decided that I am eligible to receive this "benefit". Well that's all right then. It would appear that paying National Insurance for every day of my working life was not entirely wasted. BENEFIT, my goodness me. How very gracious of them to allow me to be paid what I had contributed for years and years and years.

Saturday 20 January 2018

"Live long and prosper"

After three days of open windows and doors, and painting, the first part of the great work is finished. We awoke this morning to the task of putting our house back to the way we want it. It's all a bit strange as all the curtains were taken down and sent for cleaning, and with the blinds down and the net curtains sitting in front of them, the house has an echo with which we are not familiar. Every sound is amplified. Spooky.

The second stage - the installation of the wood burner - will take place at some stage in the near future (when the company who are installing it for us have finished their current jobs), and we look forward to that. We shall rearrange our sitting area as if the wood burner is there, so that there should be no great upheavals when that happens.

Two days of high winds and rain have caused the dogs to be a little twitchy (especially our foster puppy, Mister Sprout). We shall have to start putting appealing photographs and videos on Facebook in the hope that someone can offer him a permanent home. The difficulty will be appraising potential owners, as he has already been abandoned once in his short life. No doubt our chum, Ruby Pearl Evans, will be able to offer valuable advice. It would be heartbreaking if he was cast out again.

Blue skies and sunshine today suggest the storms of the last couple of days are over. But water is in desperately short supply, especially along the southern coastal region. Reservoirs are running very low there and rain, and then more rain, and even more rain, is needed. The thought of our government having to import water by tanker from Greece, as apparently happened in 2008, at great cost is awful to contemplate. And yet, everywhere we go, we see people hosing down their drives without a thought for this year. It would be easy to blame the Greek Cypriots for this profligacy, but I suspect that expat residents are equally thoughtless.

This weekend we are "in the bubble" to recover from the excitement of the last few days, and will raise our heads above the parapet on Monday. Until then, as the Vulcans say, "Live long and prosper."

Wednesday 17 January 2018

The "Magnum Opus" begins ...

Well it all started at 07.32 this morning when we saw Antreas' multi-coloured van coming up our long drive, followed by one of his guys in his car. We were, of course, up and dressed (surprising to those of you who know us), and organised after a fashion. Antreas told us that the work would take four days, and that tomorrow there would be a greater number of workers here.

We had chosen to have our bedroom done first, so that we had a secure base for the week. Daisy was in her "house" and behaved brilliantly for the whole day. Sprout was in various locations but survived the day with some dignity. Honey and Jaz pottered around, coming in and out at will, but we're not as distracted as we feared.

Work proceeded apace and Savvas and his Vietnamese girl arrived to remove the big curtains for cleaning, as they had been affected by the mould. He also sorted out a problem with "back washing" the pool, which saved calling out the pool man.

A phone call announced that our local log burner firm would be able to fit our log burner in the next few days. So, fingers crossed, all systems are go. We are taking the opportunity to rearrange furniture and have a clean in those parts which are not normally cleaned. The day was fine, although with all the windows open, and the kitchen door being opened and closed, it was quite brisk. By the close of play, when our guy left, we had to rapidly heat the house and take some alcohol on board.

We will find tomorrow more demanding as the forecast is a bit grim, and the guys will be working in our living area. We may decide to retire to bed, with the electric blanket on, and dogs and cats lurking  with us. But the end is nigh ... I trust.

Tuesday 16 January 2018

"Action this day"

Winston Churchill's famous comment on communication when he wanted something to happen urgently always strikes a chord when I hear it, and it is so apposite to those of us living in the land of "slowly ... slowly". A friend whose mother lives in Spain used to recount the story of "MaƱana" which translated literally means "tomorrow". She explained that it didn't mean that in Spain. It meant "Not today", which gave no promise to do something soon.

Well we have action on our damp, condensation and mould problems - which have worsened this year (despite the fact that we have had hardly any rain). A succession of experts have been up to the house, a civil engineer, the architect who "designed" the house, a builder, a decorator - in fact everyone except Uncle Tom Cobley. An absolute flurry. The end result is that we are getting action this week. The decorators are arriving tomorrow, to clean the mould and are then painting the whole of the interior with an anti-fungal paint. Demotronics, although at a date to be confirmed, are coming to clean and service the air conditioning system (this apparently can cause problems). And then the icing on the cake is that a local firm will come up and install a wood burning stove (a convector stove) which will give a dry heat and thus cause less condensation than our gas fire.

It is ironic in such a country with a warm climate that these problems should arise for three months of every year. Many times it is warmer outside than inside, and so the wood burning stove will be a real boon. It is being fitted into our fireplace which should look good as well. As I barrow the logs from the drive to our storage area I shall be singing "I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay". Perhaps a rugged checked shirt might be necessary.

"What price salvation now?" as George Bernard Shaw wrote years ago. Well the cry might as well go up "What price a damp course?" as they seem to be almost unknown here. We are told that this should resolve the problem. If it doesn't, the next step is proper double glazing. It's like setting fire to a vast pile of Euros. And that might keep us warm ...