Breaking news … Ouch!

 2021 turned out to be the year of breaking bones, and my darling wife was in the vanguard. Last summer, as you may have read in this blog, Ann tripped and fell on broken paving in Paphos and ended up with both arms in plaster casts for quite a few weeks. Caring treatment from the excellent Dr George (an orthopaedic surgeon who visits our medical centre in Polis once a week) enabled her to make a full recovery. But it was hard going for her and she had to put up with my cooking.

And then, in December, she fell coming out of the bathroom at eleven o’clock at night (we suspect an epileptic episode), and cut her head badly, which required eight stitches. She had also “hurt” her ankle. I took her to Polis Hospital - ten minutes from our house - where she was very carefully attended to. Then off to Paphos Hospital by ambulance where a fractured fibula was diagnosed. Into plaster from the knee downwards, and an early morning phone call for me to collect her. Ann was advised to see an orthopaedic surgeon to “ensure they had made the right diagnosis” and so Doctor George to the rescue again.

He was not particularly impressed with the work done at Paphos and removed the plaster cast, had X-rays done there and then, and reapplied the plaster “correctly”. Warned to keep the leg elevated and not put any weight on it, we drove round to the pharmacist and bought a walking frame. This proved difficult for Ann to use as she did not have the strength in her arms and shoulders to support her weight. Matters improved when she raised the height of the frame but the last few weeks have been very demanding.

 Christmas will be celebrated when she is mobile again. Unfortunately Doctor George was unwell yesterday and so Ann was forced to postpone her appointment for a week. And so, it’s fingers crossed until then that he recovers and her plaster cast may be removed. Coupled with bitterly cold weather recently, we have had breakfast and the papers in bed, with the heating on - and then, once the log burner has been cleaned out, and wood brought into the house, we have emerged from the bedroom and enjoyed the fire. We binge-watched (I think that’s the term) the whole of Downton Abbey, and Kavanagh QC, and are now enjoying Judge John Deed. The bar opens as the credits roll, and then we have supper on our knees. Quite sybaritic really but we are making the best of a bad job.

Much thanks to the staff at Polis Hospital, Polis Medical Centre and Dr George of the Hippocratic Clinic in Paphos for their excellent and kind care.

Oh the irony …

 Those who know me will remember that I have a pathological fear of needles, and I’ve had a few needles shoved into me over the years. So, after six months, I accessed the Online Portal for Vaccinations so that I could receive my Covid booster. Wonder if wonders, it allowed me to book an appointment at Polis Hospital for this Friday. Joy! Joy! Oh fuck! I’m celebrating the opportunity to realise one of my worst fears so that someone can stick a needle in my arm.

Cyprus swings from competence to utter incompetence when it comes to dealing with the pandemic, but we cope with the swings and roundabouts. We watch with incredulity the lack of adherence to regulations by both Cypriots and expats. Today we popped out for a drink and watched people completely ignore masks and SafePass restrictions. And why, for heaven’s sake, do people (in a large area) want to sit next to us?

Winter is nibbling at us. We can still sit outside until the sun goes down, but - as almost all Cypriot houses have no insulation - you need some form of reliable heating. Unless you have central heating, which is alleged to be ruinously expensive - then a log burner is the way forward. Gas heaters create damp, condensation and mould (and are not brilliant for people with asthma or other respiratory problems) and air conditioning dries everything out. So plan for a log burner, find a reliable supplier of hardwood, and enjoy the winters here.

Don’t listen to the slightly absurd “fact” that Cyprus enjoys 300+ days of sunshine a year. For three months a year you want to be warm and comfortable.

That was an eventful summer …

 We don’t do things by half, especially in Cyprus. On a sunny afternoon in Paphos, we had two doctors’ appointments (one each) and - unfortunately - there was a lengthy gap between them. No problem. We would go for a light lunch and pass the time in a civilised fashion. 

Parking was a slight problem, so I dropped Ann off near the entrance to the restaurant and told her I would park somewhere and walk back. I suggested she take her walking stick but the distance was short and she decided against it. I parked the car in a side street and saw Ann walking towards me, saying she had forgotten her mask. I told her I would get it, went back to the car and turned back to meet her. Suddenly she disappeared and gave a cry for help. 

All I could see was parked cars and a car that had stopped in the middle of the road, with the driver getting out. I was momentarily convinced she had been knocked down, but saw she was sprawled on the pavement. There was a fair amount of blood, she had lost a tooth, her chin was bleeding, her knees were skinned and one toe looked battered. Ann was determined to tell me that the driver had just stopped to help (possibly fearing her enraged husband might do something imprudent).

A Cypriot man and woman appeared from separate houses with water, paper towels and all helped to clean Ann up, and eventually she regained her feet. The woman wanted to call an ambulance but we did not fancy submitting to the tender mercies of Paphos General Hospital. We thanked them all profusely and decided to drive back to Polis and visit our medical centre. We rang ahead and also rang and cancelled my later appointment.

Ann was patched up by the practice nurse, and we returned to see doctors a couple of nights later. X-rays were taken and we were advised to return to see the orthopaedic consultant who visited weekly. To cut a long story short, Ann ended up having both arms in plaster for the next six weeks. Consequently I had to run the house (shopping, cooking, washing etc.) and do almost everything for her as well. She must have been very fed up but was quite stoical about it all.

Plasters removed eventually and then straight off to have her second cataract procedure. This was an astounding success and she has now joined the land of the sighted (with excellent colour vision as a bonus).

As a result my blog went into abeyance. Added to which, my first novel - “Bridges over the Tyne” - was progressing apace, so writing time was at a premium. All in all it was not a summer to remember but we got through it with the help of some extremely skilled medical help. Don’t believe all you read about the standards of medical care in Cyprus. Use your Personal Doctor as a conduit to specialist services, and try to keep away from the public hospitals … they appear to be in the grip of the unions. Private hospitals (available under GESY) are excellent.

Eyeless in Gaza or …

 Ann is now in the firm and warm embrace of plaster covering both right and left wrists and forearms, as she has fractured bones to protect. Very swift and effective consultations and CT scans, and then further consultation with her orthopaedic surgeon - who only asked, as he was plastering the second wrist, whether Ann was a driver. Fortunately she had her personal driver waiting in the car outside.

So, for the next five weeks, she is very much unable to do much. We are a good team and we have managed to work around many of he difficulties she has been undergoing. Showering was fun, and a pair of waterproof arm covers (designed for just this eventuality) proved a godsend. My cooking is passing muster but we were both grateful that our new cleaner started on Thursday and did an excellent job. And, the gardening crew covered themselves in glory by doing another excellent job and returning to construct and paint our new kitchen island.

It is only at times like this that people surprise you. We have had more than a couple of offers to do the shopping for us, and all sorts of people we would not have expected to be sympathetic have proved us wrong. A big thank you to all who have stepped up to offer help. We appreciate it - especially as we do not find it easy to accept offers of help.

Infections continue to rise on a daily basis here, and the animosity being exhibited between the vaccinated and the unvaccinated is being orchestrated in ways which do not strike me as subtle. We are both vaccinated, and hope all we meet will be similarly protected. But … and it is a big but … you cannot insist that people be injected with a revolutionary concoction against their wishes. With the so-called Safepass being insisted upon for entry into many places here, the pressure to be vaccinated is immense.

I, for one, am not happy about this. What next? Yellow stars sewn onto the clothing of the unvaccinated, followed by numbers tattooed onto their skins for identification. World wars were fought for less.

Hard landings …

 We have always said that Cyprus is a tough place to fall over, and Tuesday proved that beyond measure. We were in Paphos for Ann to go to St George’s Hospital, and then planned to go to Paphos Home Market, and then Kolios butchers, before I called in to the Blue Cross Hospital to pick up a repeat prescription.

Of course the best laid plans … and we decided to have a light lunch to fill in the time between hospital appointments. I dropped Ann off near the café we planned to visit and went off to park the car. A couple of minutes later she appeared in the side street I had parked in. She had forgotten her mask. There was a cry, she disappeared and all I saw was a car in the middle of the road with the driver standing beside it. Ann had tripped on a broken paving slab and had taken a very heavy fall. The young man in the car had seen what had happened and had stopped to help.

Ann was on the ground in considerable distress. She had hit her head, and in so doing had lost a tooth. There were abrasions and a nasty wound under the chin (where her “angel wings” had penetrated the skin), and her knees and a toe were looking the worst for wear. A man appeared from a nearby house and a woman from further down the street with kitchen roll and water. They helped patch Ann up and clear some of the blood away. The woman wanted to call for an ambulance but I preferred to take Ann back to Polis (we have both experienced less than tender loving care at Paphos General Hospital in the past).

Polis Medical Centre was open and Ann’s wounds were cleaned and dressed. The nurse, who could not have been more caring and competent, asked us to return in the evening to see the doctors to check all was well. We returned in the evening, X-rays were taken (suspected hairline fracture on left wrist), and that was dressed carefully. A salutary experience which could have been so much worse.

A week later and Ann is looking and feeling much better, although her bruises are interesting. We return to Polis Medical Centre tonight for an orthopaedic surgeon to check her wrists. We hope that the hairline fracture (if it was such a thing) will have healed in the last seven days, and that life can start to return to some sort of “normal”.

COVID infections have gone to record levels here with the government unwilling to take the appropriate steps to reduce them. Whatever happens the tourist season here will be a shadow of its former self and much hardship will result. Between the health of the population and the recovery of the economy is a hard place to be in. As in much of this beautiful land, it is a hard place to fall.

Another snakebite …

 Our two rescue cats, Honey and Jaz, were - we were told - sisters. But after eight years it is obvious that Jaz is Honey’s daughter, and that Honey must have been very young when Jaz was born. They have lived with us for over eight years and we wouldn’t be without them. But Jaz has now diced with death three times and it is never easy when a beloved pet is ill.

On Monday morning she came in distress and making an almost continuous mewling sound. She was limping and obviously in pain. The obvious conclusion was that she had encountered a snake (again) and had come off worst. After a struggle we got her into the car carrier and raced off to Yiaanis (our vet in Polis). He came to the same conclusion and two injections later, and a squirt of antibiotics into her mouth, and we proceeded slightly more sedately back home. All she wanted to do was snuggle down and sleep, and so that was what she did. Further antibiotics and an early night followed.

Tuesday morning and she was no longer limping and was quite lively so no need to go back to the vets. We had bought a new cat carrier on Monday afternoon, as the old one was falling to bits.

This followed on from Daisy’s two vet visits (one with a sharp piece of grass up the nose, and then later an ear infection (when I was in hospital). Ann, as always, coped admirably. But, within the space of a few weeks, our beloved girls had cost us more than €400. Of course they are worth every cent, but perhaps they might have a more considerate summer to avoid more damage to our bank account.

Tomorrow I am ordering an integral Bluetooth keyboard for my iPad. We have already rearranged the study, and there is a beautiful Edwardian captain’s chair, a new desktop fan and soon a semi-permanent iPad station for the writing of my magnum opus. All sorts of ideas and plots and characters are swirling around and I am looking forward to my writing. I’ll keep you up to date with the progress, or lack of it. I am told a cold Keo is the perfect antidote to writer’s block.

What a few weeks …

 Well nothing is very dull in Cyprus … or not for very long. As we have been dealing with Ann’s cataract procedure and its aftermath (eye drops, daily, for four weeks), and a very successful procedure it was, my medical problems came to the fore. Numerous visits to the Polis Medical Centre, and consultations with all the doctors there, produced temporary solutions but the problem persisted.

Finally it was decided I would be referred to a gastroenterologist and a colonoscopy  would be required. I wasn’t thrilled by the prospect (any intrusion into my body is not great) but the problem needed to be resolved. A phone call from the medical centre suggested I present myself to Paphos General Hospital Emergency Department. I flatly refused as both Ann and I have had unpleasant and unprofessional treatment there on more than one occasion.

Mary, the magnificent administrator at the medical centre, told me she would ring me back. A couple of hours later it was agreed that I would go to a private hospital (the Blue Cross in Paphos) where I would be admitted so that the outpatient queue to consult a gastroenterologist could be bypassed. I saw the lovely Dr Antony, an internal medicine consultant, and he admitted me. There would be a five-day wait until the colonoscopy but that was a small price to pay. My room had two beds and after a day a pleasant Englishman, Jim, was admitted. Someone to chat to.

On the fifth day I was taken to St George’s - a sister private hospital - by ambulance and the procedure took place. Returning to the Blue Cross, the gastroenterologist bounced into the room to announce they had not found any cancer. Well that was good news. A CT scan of the abdomen followed and was clear as well.

Some new medication to control my diabetes and some other tablets which were a safer alternative to the warfarin I was taking. As Dr Antony told me that too low an INR level and I would have a stroke and too high an INR level and I would have a heart attack. Goodbye warfarin … I’m not missing you.

And then, a couple of weeks after my return home, at about eight o’clock in the evening the gastroenterologist rang Ann and asked that we see him at the hospital at four o’clock the next day. “Not bad news” he stressed. We nervously presented ourselves and he told me that he had found the cause of my original problem (from which I had been suffering for months and months). It was a rare problem and would be resolved by a three-month course of corticosteroids. We flew home and Dr Stelios is now on the Christmas card list, alongside Dr Antony. Two very professional consultants, and some lovely staff, and - thanks to GESY - private hospital standards for pocket money.